A crush – someone you barely know, yet they make your mind and heart go wild. And quite honestly, it can be pretty exhausting. So getting over that fantasy is more than necessary. In this post, I’ll share 10 steps on how to get over a crush you never dated.
But before we dive into the steps on how to get over a crush you never dated, let’s explore what a crush really is and why moving on can be challenging – especially when you haven’t even dated this person.
What is a Crush?
A crush is someone you barely know but feel strongly attracted to, mostly in a physical way. Anyone can have a crush, and they can happen anywhere. Whether it’s that person you see at the gym, someone at work, or even a celebrity.
It’s that rush of excitement you feel when you see them, your heart racing, even though they might seem out of reach because you may not have even talked to them, right?
Why Is It So Hard to Get Over a Crush You Never Dated?
It might seem hard to get over that person because you have created an ideal partner in your head – a person who doesn’t even exist the way you think they do.
So basically, you took this attractive person and projected all the good qualities and needs you seek in a partner onto them. Congratulations, you have now created the perfect partner!
But we all know: nobody is perfect. So what about their weaknesses and maybe even bad qualities? You don’t know these because you don’t know that person. You see, this is exactly where the problem lays.
This person is pure imagination; they are not real. And now you not only have to get over that person but also that fantasy.
How to Get Over a Crush You Never Dated?
1. Feel All the Emotions
You might think it is silly to cry over someone you never even dated and barely know, but know that it is okay to feel all the emotions. No matter if you need to cry, scream, or whatever it is – feel it.
You have to let it all out before you move on from that person. I find that journaling is also a great way to process your emotions fully and understand yourself and why you develop crushes better.
2. Get Back to Reality
I’ve touched on this before, but it’s truly important to bring yourself back to the real world. Write down everything you know about that person, and soon you’ll realize you don’t know much at all.
In fact, you may not even know whether that person possesses the qualities you would want in a partner. You’ll notice that, once again, this person is nothing but a fantasy you created in your head.
3. Be Present
When you have a crush, it can quickly turn into a little obsession. You start creating scenarios in your head that take place in the future, which means you’re not living in the present moment.
When thoughts about that person pop up, try to catch yourself and return to what you were doing at that moment. I find that focusing on your breath also helps to stay present.
4. Observe Your Thoughts
This goes hand in hand with being present. Instead of dwelling on thoughts and scenarios about that person and how you’re living happily ever after, notice your thoughts, observe them, and then let them go by simply going about your day. Don’t judge, analyze, or try to control them. Just observe and then move on.
Tip: I also found that not thinking about that specific person right when you wake up helps you not think about them so much for the rest of the day. It’s kinda like avoiding your phone for the first two hours of the day. Then you’re less likely to scroll through social media and get distracted.
5. Change the Location
Oftentimes, there is a specific spot that you associate with thinking about that person. For example, you might find yourself thinking about them heavily when you are sitting at your desk or in other familiar spots.
If you can, try to switch it up and look for a different place. Alternatively, whenever you notice you start thinking about them, get up and do something else.
You could even do a few jumping jacks before returning to your task to avoid losing yourself in thoughts about them. It may sound silly, but it works!
6. Distance Yourself from Them
If possible, try to minimize contact or exposure as much as you can. Unfollow them on social media, and if you can, try to find different times to hit the gym or generally avoid the places where you might see them. You don’t have to do this forever, just until you stop caring about them.
7. Put Yourself on the Pedestal
When we obsess over someone we automatically put that person on a pedestal and put ourselves below them. Now, instead, put that person off the pedestal and put yourself on it. Be so obsessed with becoming a better version of yourself that there is no space left for a random person to take up your mind.
Consider the type of person you want to become. What would your ideal partner be? What characteristics, values, and vision should they have? Now, become that person first so you can attract someone who embodies those same qualities.
8. Stay Busy & Find Things You Love
There is a possibility that you crush on someone because you are bored or procrastinate. I used to daydream about someone when I was procrastinating for example and dreading the things I had to do. Maybe that is the case for you as well.
If you notice that you’re procrastinating and using your crush as an escape from completing important tasks, break those tasks into smaller steps to avoid feeling overwhelmed.
If you catch yourself daydreaming about your crush out of boredom, get out of your comfort zone and try out new things, hobbies you’ve been wanting to try out, learn a new language, etc.
9. Cultivate Self-Love
I find that self-love is the key to almost anything. It will not only help you move on from your crush, but it will also prevent you from developing crushes so easily. Yes, having a crush is normal, but most of the time a crush remains just that. So what’s the point in having one in the first place, right?
Loving yourself helps you realize your worth and understand that there is no point in wasting your time thinking about someone who isn’t interested in you.
When you cultivate self-love, you start recognizing your own value and strengths. You begin to validate yourself rather than relying on external validation or approval. You’ll realize that your worth isn’t dependent on whether someone wants you or not. You simply won’t care.
I find that self-love meditations and affirmations are a good place to start, as they can help you recognize your worthiness of love.
10. How to Stop Having Crushes
Just as it’s important to get over a crush, it’s equally crucial to stop developing crushes in the first place.
What’s critical is figuring out why you develop those crushes. Are there unmet needs you’re trying to fill? Have you been single for a while and craving connection? Or maybe you’re looking for attention or validation? Taking the time to reflect on these questions can really help.
When you uncover the root causes, you can start addressing them directly. For example, if you’ve been feeling lonely, consider spending more time with friends or family, or finding new ways to meet people. Definitely take the time to figure out why you’re feeling the way you are. Trust me, it will 100% pay off!
How Long Will it Take to Get Over a Crush?
That’s a question that doesn’t really have a direct answer because it varies so much from person to person. I remember having crushes that lasted for months and others that disappeared in just a few weeks.
Honestly, I find stressing about how long it’s going to take isn’t really helpful. What’s way more important is to focus on not developing crushes too often or too quickly because, again, it’s just a waste of time.
Instead, put your energy into yourself – love yourself, know your worth, and remember that the right person for you isn’t going to pass you by. In the meantime, work on becoming the best version of yourself, and you’ll find that you’ll forget about that crush faster than you think.
Conclusion
We’ve reached the end of this post, and I really hope you found it helpful! My goal is for you to take away some insights on how to get over a crush you never dated and prevent you from developing new ones too soon or too quickly. Remember to keep your focus on yourself until someone enters your life who can be more than just a crush. You’ve got this!
