“Everyone has it all figured out, like they have their whole life together. And here I am feeling absolutely lost, not knowing what to do with my life or where to even start. It’s kind of like I want to move forward and do something about it, but I wouldn’t even know what exactly. And even if I knew what to do, would it be the right decision at all?….”
Does this sound familiar? Welcome to the club. This had been my daily dialogue with myself a while ago, lol. Actually, not even funny.
Fortunately, I don’t feel lost at the moment.
And I say “at the moment” because I don’t believe that there will be a certain point in time when everything will just automatically make sense. That there won’t be a moment when you think: “Oh, now I’ve figured it all out”.
But Why Do We Feel Lost At All?
We feel lost whenever we’re not moving forward—when the path we’re on doesn’t feel quite right. Or when we know exactly what direction to go in, but we feel too paralyzed to take action. Because, “What if this isn’t the right decision and I’m wasting my time?”
Most of the time, we actually know what we should do, but we can’t seem to muster the strength to take action. Instead, we bombard ourselves with all the wrong questions that no one even knows the answer to.
But this way, we postpone the decision-making process, stay in our comfort zone, and end up doing nothing about it. I mean, at least then we can’t do anything wrong, right? Wrong. All this does is make things worse. You’ll find yourself dragging out of bed and wishing for the day to end quickly so you won’t have to face those feelings. It sounds dramatic, but I’m sure you know what I’m talking about…
Also, a quick disclaimer: I’m not a psychologist, so this is all just advice from my personal experience, and I hope it helps you.
What to Do When You Feel Lost in Life
1. Reflect On Your Feelings
It’s never a good idea to suppress your feelings because, sooner or later, they’ll resurface—and it’ll likely be even worse. Instead, try to face them head-on.
Ask yourself what’s making you feel lost. Is it your current job? Your relationship? Your friends? Your living situation?
Really dig into it. But honestly, you might not even need to go that deep, because, like I said, most of the time, we already know what we need to do to feel differently. Still, taking a moment to reflect can be helpful.
2. Acknowledge That It’s Normal
I think it’s funny how people around us, society and all, try to make us feel like we have to have everything figured out by a certain age.
Like, they haven’t even figured things out for themselves, so why the pressure? Sure, it’s not like we should just sit on the couch all day, doing nothing and expecting things to fall into place magically. But this invisible timeline of when we should achieve certain milestones is just weird.
Sometimes, you outgrow jobs, relationships, and other aspects of life, and it can feel like you’ve been pushed back to square one. When that happens, you need to have a little meeting with yourself to figure out where to go next.
And I know this will happen many times throughout our lives. So what I’m saying is: it’s completely normal and it’s actually a great place to be in…
3. Why It’s a Great Place to Be In
You might think this is the worst time of your life, and it might be true, depending on how you’re dealing with this situation. Because really, what feeling lost does is make you question your current life.
Clearly, you’re not happy with how things are for you right now, right? But that’s okay because everything can be changed. In fact, things can change within seconds—and that’s not an exaggeration.
So, instead of dwelling on the fact that you’re feeling so lost, try to see it as a pivotal moment for your personal growth. Look for opportunities for yourself.
If you’re not happy with your job, ask yourself what field you’d rather work in or try out. If your relationship has no long-term potential, think about why you haven’t called it quits. And if your friends are a negative bunch who drain your energy, evaluate why you’re still friends with them. And well, then…you know what to do…
4. Stop Comparing Your Journey with Others
And you know what the problem is most of the time? Social media. Because, seriously, you could be the happiest person on earth, but social media will give you 20 reasons to be unhappy, feel behind, and feel, well, lost.
It always looks like everyone else is doing so much better than you, right? I mean, who hasn’t seen those 17-year-old millionaires living in Dubai or whatever? Good for them; I’m not judging. But it can definitely feel like you’re doing something wrong. And instead of being happy and grateful for everything you have, you compare yourself to people you don’t even know.
Whose lives you don’t know 100% because you only know what they are willing to tell you. You only see the highlights of their lives. And sure, we can all be inspired by those people and open ourselves up to the opportunities that exist right now, but our journey will still differ from theirs.
And that is amazing. Imagine if we all had the same stories to tell—how boring would that be? So, instead of looking at what others are doing, take a moment to listen to yourself. What is your heart telling you? As cheesy as it may sound, what gets you excited and joyful? What lights you up? What feels right to you? Then go from there.
5. Just Make a Decision
I think we’ve all been in that situation where we keep postponing a decision because we’re afraid it won’t be the right one. Because what if it doesn’t turn out to be the right decision? And you know what? There’s no absolute right or wrong decision.
At the end of the day, even the “wrong way” can lead you to the right one. Just think about those situations where you later said, “I wish I’d made a different decision.” But was it really so? Think about it because the choices you made and all the experiences along the way actually helped you become the person you are today.
You likely learned a lot, had fun, met new people, or whatever it might be. That “wrong decision” probably even helped get you one step closer to what you actually enjoy doing. It’s just a part of your story.
Also, I know from my experience that when you postpone making a decision, it often comes from a fear of taking action, which likely means doing something out of your comfort zone.
So, I really want you to just make a decision and stick with it. Nothing is absolute, and you can always change course if you want to. But please make a decision.
6. Build Momentum
I mean, sure, you could just jump in and try to implement all the good habits overnight—be more disciplined and set all these big goals. I did it once, and it worked for a while, but it just wasn’t sustainable. It’s really too much all at once. Instead, setting mini-goals is a much better and sustainable approach.
Checking them off gives you that sense of accomplishment, no matter how small, and it helps build momentum.
Of course, it’s great to have big goals, but they can quickly feel overwhelming and out of reach. That might be one of the reasons you’re feeling lost in the first place—it stops you from taking action. When those big goals seem so far away, it can be hard to even take that first step. And what will really get us to those big goals at the end are the small steps we take over time. So, take that first step and set small goals for yourself that support your bigger, long-term vision.
Example: Instead of jumping straight into the gym if you’ve never set foot in one before and suddenly trying to work out 4-5 days a week, start small. Go just once or twice a week for a while. Stick with that routine, and once you feel comfortable, then you can gradually increase the frequency.
7. Enjoy The Journey of Figuring Things Out
No one has it all figured out. Literally, no one. And trying to figure things out—like being super focused on that—won’t help you, it really won’t. Because figuring things out is a long process for most people, especially if you genuinely don’t know where you’re going or what you love, etc.
So, focusing too much on that just puts a lot of pressure on you. And, well, society, with their invisible timeline, won’t help either.
The worst thing you can do—and I know many struggle with this (me included)—is to put a time limit on reaching your goals. This invisible timeline is nothing but a limitation we unnecessarily place on ourselves. It’s like we think we’re too old to do certain things once we hit 30 or whatever.
But really, you’ll likely live another 50+ years, so why act like you’re about to die? It’s so freeing to let go of those limitations because you can change your life at any time. Most of the time, you’re only one decision away from doing just that.
Enjoy the Ride
What I really wanted to say is to enjoy the ride. Feeling lost is a necessary part of life, and it’s inevitable too. It’s a sign that you need to change something, and you can.
You just have to listen to that quiet voice inside you that’s getting louder. Don’t ignore it because you likely know deep down what to do or which direction to take. Yes, it might not give you all the answers, but it will guide you to your next step.
Enjoy the journey instead of being fixated on reaching a specific goal because that’s when you’ll grow, learn, and experience life. Ultimately, reaching the goal is just the result of all that happening. So, be excited about the person you’re about to become. Don’t rush it; you’ll get there.
I wholeheartedly hope you found this post helpful and now have a better idea of what to do when you feel lost in life. Remember, this is the most common and normal feeling there is.
Everyone goes through it at some point—and likely more than once, It’s completely okay not to have everything figured out, as long as you keep pushing forward and enjoy the journey. Don’t ignore that voice inside you; start acting on it because you never know where it might lead you.
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